Teach us to delight in simple things.
—Rudyard Kipling

Stress Management: Improve Your Resiliency

Stress is a normal part of life and occurs when outside forces impact you. However, not all stress is detrimental. Good stress can have characteristics such as joy, exhilaration, and a feeling of accomplishment. Stress that challenges your coping skills can be associated with feelings of frustration, anger, low energy, anxiety, or a feeling that something is not quite right. A 20-year study by Kaiser Permanente found that unmanaged stress was the source of between 70-85% of illnesses presented by patients to physicians. The more effective your coping skills, the better you can face your more difficult life stressors and maintain optimal health.

Some practices to help reduce your stress

• Move your body! Take a walk no matter how long or short. Walks can be especially beneficial when taken in parks, nature centers, arboretums, etc. where you can be immersed in the natural world even in the middle of a large metropolitan area.
• Focus on your breathing. It’s not necessary to change it in any way to be of benefit. However, various breathwork practices can enhance stress reduction. A specific breathing practice is explained below. 
• Eat a balanced diet of unprocessed foods, homecooked whenever possible
• Draw with your non-dominant hand. Choose an object to draw such as a tree, a plant, a piece of furniture, a vegetable, or a piece of fruit. Let go of any desire that may arise to make the drawing look realistic. You will likely be surprised at just how interesting your drawing is, but the real benefit will be in how you feel differently. I know of headaches that were cured with this practice.
• Drink plenty of water and know the source of your water.

Nutrition and Eating habits

Nutritious food in adequate amounts eaten regularly during the day provides the energy needed to accomplish your day’s work and play feeling motivated and alert. Keep the following in mind as you plan your daily meals.

• Eat most of your daily protein during your earlier meals of the day – protein digests slowly fueling our energy throughout the day
• Eat your heaviest meal of the day before 1 p.m.
• Eat primarily low glycemic level carbohydrates for dinner before 7 p.m. – these healthy veggies and fruit will digest more quickly than protein, allowing your digestive system to be at rest by bedtime so your body’s natural detoxification process can fully activate
• If you need a snack, choose a handful of nuts or a small amount of plain yogurt (can be from cow, coconut, oat, goat or almond milk) – these snacks provide healthy energy-producing protein
• Eat cooked or warmed fruit for part of your breakfast and/or for dessert
• Take a calming walk for 15-30 minutes after meals to assist digestion – rigorous exercise is best in the morning

Breathwork

Circular breathing is taught by some yogis to prepare for meditation. It can also be practiced for relaxation. The following instructions are adapted from Ways into Silence by Swami Veda Bharati.

“Bring your awareness only to the space that your body is occupying. Feel the flow and the touch of the breath in your nostrils. Breathe gently, slowly, and smoothly without jerks in your breathing and without sound. Maintain, observe, and feel the flow of the breath. Do not break or hold the flow of breath. Your entire mind becomes an even flowing stream. When you are ready, without breaking the feel of the flow of the breath, gently open your eyes. Maintain the flow even with your eyes open. Resolve to make the mind an even flowing stream many times during the day. Whatever you do repeatedly with your mind will become the mind’s habit and the mind will rediscover its original calm nature.” Swami Veda Bharati

Tonglen Meditation

Tonglen meditation is a Tibetan Buddhism practice that consists of sending or receiving compassion and removing suffering. You can do it for anyone anywhere and it is important to include yourself whenever you practice this meditation.

Begin by making yourself comfortable, sitting with your spine straight, but not stiff. Place your feet flat on the floor if you are sitting in a chair. Rest your hands with palms facing up on top of your thighs or in any other position that provides support and comfort. Close your eyes, or lower your gaze to the floor in front of your feet.

Notice your breath without changing it for a few inhales and exhales. See if you can deepen your breath by inhaling and filling your lungs to more capacity, then exhaling more fully from every part of your lungs. This deeper breath work can be assisted by using your belly like a bellows to breathe. Allow your belly to extend out as you inhale, then use your belly muscles to help push all the air from your lungs. Continue this deep belly breathing for a few breaths, then return to your usual breathing pattern. (As you become more accustomed to belly breathing, you can extend the practice and even continue it through the meditation. When you are first learning belly breathing, though, it can require a lot of effort. It is best not to strain during Tonglen meditation.)

As you continue to notice each inhale and exhale, add the thought that each exhale is sending compassion and each inhale is removing suffering. Think of this process not as inhaling suffering, but as using your inhale to remove suffering.

1. Think of someone that you don’t know, but that you would recognize. It might be someone who lives in your neighborhood, or a cashier at a store you frequent, for example. As you visualize their face, send compassion to that person with each exhale and remove any suffering they are experiencing now or have in the past with each inhale. Do this for 4 full breaths.
2. Think of someone you love, someone for whom you care a great deal. You may even know of some way they are currently suffering or have in the past. As you visualize their face, send compassion to that person with each exhale and remove any suffering they are experiencing now or have in the past with each inhale. Do this for 4 full breaths.
3. Think of a place in the world where you are aware the people there are suffering or have in the past. You can visualize a photo you’ve seen or a place on a map as you send compassion to the people there with each exhale and remove any suffering they are experiencing now or have in the past with each inhale. Do this for 4 full breaths.
4. Lastly, and most importantly, remember to reverse this process to do Tonglen meditation for yourself. As you consider yourself and any suffering you are currently experiencing, or have in the past, breathe in compassion for yourself and exhale your suffering. Do this for 4 full breaths.
5. Before you end your meditation, allow one large exhale to release all suffering into the universe where it can touch no one. Wiggle your fingers and your toes and open your eyes.

Use these instructions about who to send compassion to at your discretion. It is not necessary to do Tonglen meditation for all of those I’ve suggested. Just remember to always include yourself no matter who else you include. And you can practice Tonglen meditation just for yourself when you have the need.

Sending compassion to people we don’t know helps us to remember that as humans, everyone suffers. When people behave in ways that are hurtful to themselves and/or to others, their behavior comes from suffering. For instance, you can use Tonglen meditation when you are driving in rush hour traffic and someone near you is driving too fast or in some way recklessly. Instead of becoming angry at their behavior, send them compassion with your exhales and remove their suffering with your inhales. Eyes open, of course! And remember to reverse the practice for yourself by inhaling compassion and exhaling your suffering.

You can practice using 4 breaths as I have suggested above, or you can do one breath, or as many as you wish. Tonglen meditation has great power to heal no matter how many breaths are used.

Helpful Technology

There are a great many apps and devices available to assist you with any number of changes you wish to make to improve your health and sense of well-being. Here are just a few I especially appreciate:

• Noom app – a weight loss app that uses a psychology-based approach to improve your eating habits. There is a free trial period you can take advantage of to learn whether it might be a good fit for you.
• Smart watch – these devices are helpful for tracking a variety of things such as your hours and quality of sleep, number of steps taken, and how many calories are burned based on the type of activity. They are not inexpensive and there’s no opportunity to experiment with one to see if you like it, but people who in the past haven’t liked the effort of tracking themselves have found these watches along with apps like Health (on the iPhone) to be helpful and motivational.
• Smart scales – a smart scale is a must if you decide to use Noom. They aren’t reliable for medical use, but they are sufficiently accurate to help you track various aspects of your weight such as pounds gained and lost, BMI, body fat percentage, visceral fat, BMR, and much more. Be sure to purchase one that will sync with your other apps.
• Carb Manager app – this app is helpful in conjunction with Noom. There is some conflict because Noom recommends a low-fat diet while Carb Manager is primarily used to lower carbohydrate consumption and supports a higher fat diet. Carb Manager offers a free trial period so you can discover whether it will support your goals effectively before you make a purchase. It’s quite inexpensive if you decide to continue it after the trial period and there are many recipes offered that align with your dietary goals.